Will I have a happy life?
"Camera" by REM, which I don’t know what to do with. The runner up? “Good Enough” by Sarah McLachlan, which sounds more like it.

What do my friends really think of me?
"Divine Intervention" by Matthew Sweet. You tell me what this one means . . .

Do people secretly lust after me?:
"Bolero" by Simon Standage, from the Moulin Rouge Soundtrack, not by Ravel. Next, “Don’t Stand so Close to Me” by the Police. No, I am not kidding. Either way, I have a hard time believing it (although I now have a Ratemyprofessor.com chili pepper, so, who can tell?)

How can I make myself happy?
"High Speed" by Coldplay. Don’t know what to make of this one

What should I do with my life?
"Murder, He Says" by Tori Amos, from the Mona Lisa Smile Soundtrack, Runner –up, “Imagine” covered by Eva Cassidy. Again, I like the second better than the first, which is gruesome, but admittedly kind of funny.

Will I ever have children?
”Pressure” by Billy Joel. I won’t explicate this one, because there are so many ways to go with it, but since I’ve already got 2, I’ll let you make something of this one.

What is some good advice for me?
”Closer to Fine” by Indigo Girls … but what advice? Shall I go to the doctor? The mountains, Shall I look to the children? Or drink from the fountains? Tell me, O meme!

How will I be remembered?
”Reelin’ in the Years” by Steely Dan, followed by “Talkin’ ‘bout a Revolution” by Tracy Chapman. Wishful thinking on the latter. I’m not what to think of the former.

What is my signature dancing song?
”El Tango de Roxanne,” again from Moulin Rouge, an excellent bit of synchronicity.

What do I think my current theme song is?
OK. Weird one here. The first time I did it, I got Joni Mitchell’s “Blue,” which I thought was totally un satisfactory, So I kept going until I could find something else (cheating I know) until I gave up and moved on. After the rest of the songs, I came back to this one, and tried again, and got “Blue” again. So I’ll take my favorite line from this one: “Everybody’s sayin’ that Hell’s the hippest way to go; well, I don’t think so, but I’ll take a look around.”

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
“Superman” by REM. I can take this two ways: the first would be to believe that people actually think I’m some kind of superman, which is untrue, and vain, to boot. The other way is to read the irony in the song, which would mean that others think I’m a pompous ass, which I hope is as off base as the first interpretation, but who can tell? Either way, I guess it’s better than “Bigmouth Strikes Again,” by the Smiths, which came next

What song will play at my funeral?
”Besame Mucho” covered by Chris Isaak. [I can only hope that people don’t take this literally, but this is a song I often sing around the house, particularly when we’re making lasagna, when I change the words to “Bechamel, Bechamel mucho!”

What type of men/women do you like?
Men: "April Fools” by Rufus Wainwright. I’m not sure what this means, but it’s not auspicious.
Women: First was George Michael’s “Freedom,” which might suggest that I like supermodels, but next came "Lady Pilot" by Neko Case, which seems to at least be more accurate.

What is my day going to be like?
"Passionate Kisses” by Lucinda Williams. Keep your fingers crossed!