"Marge": Yes, Yes, we know. You thought we'd forgotten about you, didn't you, you pathetic little people. Well, frankly, I had. I had some rather profitable things to attend to in Germany these past few weeks (you don't think those silly Czechs managed to lose all by themselves did you??? Things at this level take delicacy, my dears, delicacy and finesse. And carefully dosed laxatives.) I've also heard that Suzanne was swanning her own way around Europe--no doubt hoping some lesser prince or noble would cast his eye her way and make her a "real princess" as every American devotee of that "chick lit" nonsense hopes.

Norman: Whatever she was doing, Suzanne didn't submit an entry, and not only do I not take late papers from my students (even those I'm sleeping with), I deplore this particular young lady's arrogant assumption that she can use her "writer's block" pass to slink into the final three. Forget it, sweetheart.

"Marge": Now, now, Norman, calm down. Just because you're stuck teaching technical writing this summer and there are absolutly no nubile beauties in sight is no reason to get your panties in a twist. I for one was as shocked as you at Suzanne's chutzpah; I didn't think she had it in her, and so I'm playing my "chief judge" card and voting her IN for the final round. Congratulations, Suzanne, you poor dear.

Norman: Chief Judge Card????

"Marge": Yes. Shall we move on?

Norman: I suppose we can agree on one thing this week--our winner. Perry, you've combined wit and suspense with classic archetypes and timeless plot twists. You're a winner, pal. Welcome to the finals.

"Marge": Daniel and Lucy, it's down to you. Frankly Lucy, I thought your typos should have disqualified you, but sadly, I think "Happy" may just be my Botox boy. How you manage to be both salacious and silly darling, I cannot tell. The world doesn't have enough of your kind.

Norman: But Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. We knew you were capable of stooping low for, ahem, source material, but "Sleeping Beauties, Part I" of the "Erotica for Women" series? C'mon! Jenna J?????!??!?!? Do you think I don't own all of her, erm, body of work? At least you'll have a bit more time to devote to your first love. Jenna J! Hmmph.

"Marge": Though I love a good cheat, sweetie, It's actually got to be a good cheat. Daniel, this was just pathetic. This is your rejection slip.

Norman: As for the rest of you, sharpen your pencils--you're in the finals of TOP NOVELIST! Your next challenge will arrive soon. And please, please, take a lesson from Daniel and to thine own self be true, lest something turn out to be rotten in, well, you get the idea.