TOP NOVELIST Final Challenge Results
The day is finally here! TOP NOVELIST reveals the winner and, well, not winners of its 2006 rip-off of the emmy-award winning blahblahblah. Please welcome back our judges, Literary B-lister Norman Poulenc, and aliased all-around conniver, "Marge Schottenheimer"
Norman Poulenc: Ah, I love to hear my name!
"Marge Schottenheimer": And I shall be glad to never hear it again... Let's get on with it...
Contestants, as you recall, the challenge asked you to riff on Hamlet, and riff you did...
Suzanne, your entry exhibited all the sparkle and wit of your previous work...Not that I thought any of your workhad much sparkle, but "real" readers in the "real" world seemed to like you work, so we can only assume they found your final entry charming, featuring an appropriately morose prince.
Lucy, your work has lacked the heat that we felt you promised, but your final entry? Hubba hubba. Although we aren't necessarily sure that any version of Hamlet should costume him in a purple leotard...
Perry? Your work was late, but as usual, brilliant (or as brilliant as mock mystery pastiche gets)...We were captivated by the fate of Prosciutto, and the liberties you took with the tale, while potentially offensive to Italian Americans, seem in keeping with the entire genre...
And so, the winner of the 2006 TOP NOVELIST competittion is...
Perry!
Why? cruel, cruel fate...
Perry's Prize is an unsigned, remaindered copy of Give my Regrets to Broadway, a Chet Gecko Mystery--For those who aren't aware, young master Gecko is the best lizard detective at Emerson Hicky Elementary, starring in a production of Omelet, the Prince of Denver. Perry will find the award in his mailbox sometime in the next year or so...
Also, Perry seems to have taken fullest advantage of this contest, having proposed to Lucy on Friday morning. Congrats, guys! May your lives together be better than your writing...
So that about wraps it up. sadly, the producers have decided not to renew TOP NOVELIST for another season, so enjoy what you've you got. This is Norman Poulenc and "Marge Schottenheimer" signing off.